98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party
yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
when ur friend starts liking something u rly like
I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope God made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
Pooh, you selfish piece of shit
OMG, look at this Jennifer Lawrence trasformation!
ehhh this doesn’t really look like jennif-WHAT THE FUCK
I was just like oh eh then wig and looks up and HOLY SHIT
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
if jay z ever freaks out and murders his entire family all i know is that the headlines better read ‘jay z goes cray z’
